Be Genuine and Authentic

In 1-1s, group meetings, or any type of people interactions –

  • The most important thing is to be genuine and authentic
  • Far more important than being right or coming across intelligent all the time
  • People want to connect with you as a person first and then as a domain expert

Career Growth

Want to accelerate your career growth?

  • Find good mentors early in your career 
  • Especially somebody who has a very different point of view than yours
  • Have multiple mentors for different focus areas
  • Mentor is a thought partner. Don’t focus on their title, focus on their skills and match it with the skills you are trying to develop
  • At least have one mentor who doesn’t sugarcoat when you need to hear the truth

Writing Well

In software engineering, especially for managerial roles, “writing well” is one of the most underrated skills.

With remote work, the ability to communicate your thoughts through crisp and concise writing is more important than ever. Writing down your own thoughts brings clarity to your own thinking. It teaches you what to omit and what to focus on. When you find yourself explaining something multiple times, write it down. It’ll make the message consistent. Quality writing demonstrates how you can think through a complex idea and present it. 

Managers with poor writing skills can directly jeopardize their team’s success. Think – performance reviews, promotion packets, funding proposals, executive communication.

This skill can be acquired by practicing and observing other leaders in the organization. The only way to get better at writing is by writing more. Start writing and ask for feedback. 

Here are some resources that I found useful:

Motivating your team

One of the easiest ways to motivate people is to align their needs and interests with the projects they are working on. 

As Andy Grove puts it in High Output Management — Motivation is closely tied to the idea of “needs”, which cause people to have “drives”, which in turn result in “motivation”. If we are to create and maintain a high degree of motivation, we must keep some needs unsatisfied at all times. 

Want to become a staff-level technical leader?

  • Don’t focus only on checking boxes on the performance profile.
  • Strive to become a well-rounded leader by excelling at leading meetings, concise writing skills, communicating with senior leadership, dealing with conflict, and becoming approachable to junior engineers.
  • Don’t compare yourself with the weakest person in the next rank. Strive to be the one whom you admire.

Receiving negative feedback

As much as it is hard to receive negative feedback, delivering is not easy either. Good managers prepare and deliver negative feedback thoughtfully. When you are on the receiving end –

  • Resist the urge to defend it immediately
  • Keep your cool and watch your emotions
  • Thank them for the feedback
  • Internalize it and reflect on it the next day

The Law of Expectations

If you are not setting high expectations for your team, don’t be surprised if the delivered work is mediocre. If you set a high bar, it challenges people and pushes them to perform better and exceed expectations. However, it is important for you to show high confidence in them and they’ll rise up to that level.

The Law of Expectations: People respond to the level of confidence you show in them—expectations are a ceiling on performance, not a floor.

The Feiner Points of Leadership by Michael Feiner

New Manager 101: One-on-One Meetings

When you move from a technical leadership role to the management track, you gain control, authority, ownership of a specific area and a team of engineers. You feel great! This sense of authority makes you feel like you got a promotion. However, transitioning from a tech lead to front line manager role is not a promotion, it is an entry level position in a completely new track. Given it is a brand-new role, you need to learn many fundamental concepts of management. One of the foundational building blocks to successful management is one-on-one meetings.

Weekly one-on-one meetings with your direct reports are some of the most important meetings you have. New managers often forget that they are not only responsible for the technology, but they are also responsible for their team members’ success and happiness at work. Here are some basic concepts that you need to internalize about one-on-one meetings. 

Know them as a person

The most important ingredient of a successful one-on-one meeting is mutual trust and good relationship. In general, the first step is to get to know each member of your team as a person. You need to understand  what’s important to them outside of work, so you need to ask questions with curiosity to find out what’s happening in their personal lives. 

It’s their meeting

They own the agenda. You’ll always have things to discuss but you should give them a priority and freedom to pick what’s top of mind for them. 

Don’t cancel at the last minute

In one-on-one meetings they plan to bring up topics which they won’t be able to discuss otherwise in other forums. Don’t cancel or reschedule one-on-one meetings without prior notice. It signals them that it is not a priority for you. This is especially important when you have just started managing a new team.

It’s not a status meeting

The one-on-one is not a meeting where you discuss project status. You have plenty of opportunities in this meeting to check on their general happiness. This is an opportunity to have candid conversations, give each other feedback, exchange ideas on projects and team, and follow-up on commitments.

Connect feedback to career growth

One-on-one meetings are perfect for providing constructive feedback. Once the feedback is shared, it is important to explain how addressing feedback impacts their career growth. If they are not able to connect the dots, they won’t be able to act on the feedback to improve.

Every one-on-one is different

One-on-one meetings are not one-size-fits-all because every team member needs something different from you. Most likely, every team member is at a different level of their career and they need support from you on a unique set of things.

Transitioning from individual contributor to manager

When you switch from an IC role to an engineering manager role, your technical competency is one of the biggest strengths. However, you don’t want to solve everything for them. When it comes to a technical discussion with your team, you need to adjust your communication style.

  • Ask questions instead of suggesting solutions
  • Talk less, listen more
  • Guide them with your questions in the right direction
  • Give them freedom and they will surprise you

Influencing without Authority


When you are working with a group of people who trust you and respect you for your technical competence, it is easy to influence and get their buy-in.

When you are put in a circle of people who don’t know you well, you can’t assume people will recognize your competency just because of your background or title. You need to demonstrate your knowledge and expertise through discussions and by asking the right questions. That’s when people start respecting you. Once you earn their respect, you need to invest in building a relationship with them.

Earning respect for your expertise and building relationships are the two fundamental building blocks of influencing without authority.